A 'happy to talk' bench has recently been installed in Altrincham, on Shaw Road, near the market but I'm aware that not everyone feels comfortable or confident enough to sit and chat with someone, especially if that someone is a stranger.

So here are a few tips to help with this, and they are useful in many situations.

There are times when we may feel uncomfortable at starting a conversation. Or those times when we're perhaps facing a new person or situation we may feel under pressure to fill the least silence with animated chatter.

But often, once we've started talking and overcome any initial awkwardness, we discover the other person was equally self-conscious.

Here are a few tips for those times;

Smile and be welcoming. Tense body language can appear negative or disinterested and influence how you're perceived. Observe others and 'borrow' what you've seen work well for them.

Keep up-to-date with popular culture, what's happening locally, the TV shows 'everyone's' talking about. Incorporate interesting topics into conversations and feel ready to join in with opinions or comments.

Open questions can be good ice-breakers. 'What brought you here', 'what do you think about..' can enable you both to relax. Closed questions which elicit only a 'yes' or 'no' response can stifle further conversation. Show willing by being prepared to contribute, add value and help the conversation progress.

Many people enjoy people-watching and good-natured observations about passers-by can add amusement to your conversation. Maybe invent outrageous stories about them and their lives! A little harmless banter can be great fun.

Be prepared to share some insights into yourself. Contribute and maybe even appear a little vulnerable. Volunteer about the times when you've typically found it hard to start a conversation. Use humour and be self-deprecating. Discussing everyday awkwardness can be a good step and you're unlikely to be alone in how you feel!

Be interested in knowing about the other person, but be sensitive about asking too many questions. 'How', 'why', 'what', 'when', can be non-pushy options, as can, 'tell me more about that'. Always remember that it's a conversation, not an interview.

Don't take things personally. If someone's offhand or disinclined to talk it's unlikely to be because of you. Respect their space. Some days they may want to talk, other days maybe not. It often depends on what's happening in their lives and they may not want to disclose personal stuff. Not every interaction will be a success.

Be aware of how much time you have to chat and mention this at the outset. Then you can leave without any awkwardness or embarrassment on either side.

And remember, not every moment has to be filled with words. It's okay to sometimes sit together in companionable silence.

Susan Leigh, Altrincham, Cheshire, South Manchester counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor. She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon. To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net