WE have all been in relationships where something has gone wrong or been misinterpreted.

If you feel it's worth saving, are unable to simply walk away or can't avoid each other, it's important to sort things out.

1 Discuss it.

We may not want to talk about what's happened or feel there's no point. Indeed sometimes talking can make the situation worse. But there are times when it helps, allows you to gain a better understanding of each other and gives you an insight into how you're perceived.

2 Appreciate the role of a mediator.

This doesn't have to a formal arrangement, but it can be valuable to include an acceptable third-party who keeps your discussions on track.

3 Relax your reaction.

Rather than adopting a victim mentality, instead consider that the other person's behaviour may have been innocent. Sometimes thoughtlessness can be misinterpreted as offensive or rude. Nip tension in the bud and move on. Is it really such a big deal?

4 Change your perspective.

Sometimes one person may feel that the other has changed and they're at a loss as to how to deal with the new you. They may feel frustrated, defensive, irritated that things are being stirred and shaken up. We all have different goals and dreams. Be sensitive to theirs whilst pursuing your own.

5 Listen and practise empathy. You may be clear about your feelings and motivations. Yet we've all had exchanges where someone's comments have revolutionised our thinking. Listening allows for subtle as well as momentous insights to transform our outlook.

6 Seek to understand.

If you've been friends or in the relationship for a while could tensions be due to a personal situation they're struggling with or are too embarrassed to share? Be generous and allow some latitude.

7 Remove your ego from the story. You may be feeling hurt, angry, upset. Stop explaining yourself or arguing your case. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and even criticised. Listen to what the other person has to say.

8 Present a charm offensive.

If you know they're acting out of character, suspect they're in a bad place or are perhaps feeling jealous, lonely or unloved you could ease the tension by being extra thoughtful and kind.

There may be no justification for their bad behaviour, but your improved approach may make for a more pleasant environment. That could be worth letting things go for!

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