LIKE me, you probably thought all the dinosaurs had died out, but the bad news is there are still plenty of the theatrical variety still knocking around.

Whoever decided to blow the cobwebs off Agatha Christie's The Hollow and bring it back to the stage certainly wants shooting, because I can't remember the last time I had such a tedious night at the theatre.

Imagine trying to run a marathon with diving boots on, and that gives you an idea of just how slow the pace is. It marginally improves in the second half but if you're not as patient as I am, the chances are you'll be tempted to make your excuses and leave long before the end.

There's no tension in Joe Harmston's production and you don't feel remotely involved or interested in what's going on. The only remotely dramatic thing about the entire evening is the music.

A bloke called John Christow gets murdered and two detectives turn up to see if they can work out which of the assembled toffs has blood on his or her hands. My only wish is that the murderer had turned serial killer, bumped them all off in one fell swoop and we could have all gone home early!

The production's only redeeming quality is Kate O'Mara's perfectly pitched performance as the batty aristocrat, Lady Angkatell. A sexy lady with a strong stage presence, Kate plays a woman with her very own sense of logic and she certainly gets all the best lines.

I have a tremendous amount of affection for the Lowry and I've seen productions here of such quality that the hairs on the back of my neck stand up simply by thinking about them. However, booking this in was a mistake and a must only for theatregoers with a masochistic streak. Make sure you DO miss this.

* Until Saturday at the Lowry Theatre. The box office is on 0870 111 2000.