WHILST examining the eagerly-awaited and much-welcome garden waste collection service paperwork which Trafford has posted through all our letterboxes (without actually charging us), I was struck by their self-advertising on the outer envelope and on each of the enclosed leaflets. 

It says One Trafford – Excellence, Investment, Efficiency.

It made me wonder – has anyone actually spotted any excellence, investment or efficiency?

I’m still waiting for a bit of that in relation to last year’s leaves which are now nicely mulched on the roads and pavements.

I do hope they’re going to invest my online £35 excellently and efficiently – always assuming that some of it is left after the cost of issuing the instructions and collecting the payments.

After all this, I can hardly wait for the next optional paid-for service for the black bin - and then the blue bin. And then the grey one.

If that doesn’t raise enough money, Trafford could then consider a super new money-raising scam (...er, sorry, scheme), namely “Sponsor a pothole” – in which firms could pay differing amounts on a scale linked to the depth of their chosen pothole.

Well, it’s better than sponsoring a roundabout which might not be there forever.

D Peters
Hale