'Vote yes and join the fun', newly independent People's Republic of South Norwood tells Scotland

Messenger Newspapers:

2:33pm Thursday 18th September 2014

The newly independent People's Republic of South Norwood has told the people of Scotland: vote "yes and join the fun."

VIDEO & PICS: You won't believe what this Dartford performer's done to be a record-holder!

Messenger Newspapers:

3:50pm Monday 15th September 2014

From having melons sliced in half on her stomach to having apples chainsawed out of her mouth, a Dartford performer has set four world records with a series of extraordinary stunts.

Mysterious trail of sandwiches found in Brockley

Messenger Newspapers:

11:11am Thursday 11th September 2014

A trail of sandwiches was left on the road outside Brockley train station yesterday.

VIDEO: Resident highlights plight of Thamesmead's abandoned trolleys

Messenger Newspapers:

4:38pm Tuesday 9th September 2014

A Thamesmead man has taken to YouTube to highlight the plight of abandoned trolleys in the area - including a song from his four-wheeled friends' point of view.

James Bond suffers burning bum in stunt accident

Messenger Newspapers: Roger Moore as James Bond 007 and Richard Kiel as Jaws in The Spy Who Loved Me

10:23am Monday 8th September 2014

Former Bexley resident and James Bond actor Sir Roger Moore has described how an accident on set once left him with a burning bottom.

Eagles fans finish 17th in Premier League infidelity table with Chelsea top ahead of Liverpool

Messenger Newspapers:

1:32pm Thursday 4th September 2014

The realistic aim for Crystal Palace should always be to finish at least 17th every year in the Premier League – and this is exactly where they have placed in a table to find the division’s most unfaithful fans.

Deptford trader penalised for seahorse sex pills

Messenger Newspapers: BEAUTY: A female spiny seahorse

11:17am Wednesday 3rd September 2014

A Deptford trader who sold sex pills made from seahorses for Viagra-style effects has been penalised by magistrates.

Footgolf comes to Bromley: Weird sport is sweeping the nation

Messenger Newspapers:

10:00am Wednesday 3rd September 2014

The UK’s fastest growing sport, footgolf, has arrived in Bromley. Hatty Collier visits a course in Downe to try out a hole new ball game.

VIDEO: Giant hippo passes through Thames Barrier

Messenger Newspapers:

3:20pm Tuesday 2nd September 2014

A giant hippo is making its way through the Thames Barrier this afternoon.

5,000 wasps found in Winchester bedroom

Messenger Newspapers:

11:10am Tuesday 26th August 2014

IN decades of pest control John Birkett has seen many things, but nothing like this.

Brockley couple's romantic date in the middle of the road

Messenger Newspapers:

3:27pm Tuesday 26th August 2014

You wouldn’t think the perfect atmosphere for a romantic date would be the sound of car exhausts and screaming football fans from the pub across the street.

Kitten gets head stuck in Lee garden table

Messenger Newspapers:

2:58pm Wednesday 20th August 2014

A Lewisham family found a stray kitten in their back garden with its head stuck in a table.

Tesco Bromley questioned after offering chocolate hamper as 1st prize in diabetes raffle

Messenger Newspapers:

10:14am Monday 18th August 2014

Tesco in Bromley has been snapped offering a chocolate hamper as first prize in a diabetes raffle. 

Top 10 facts about baby name trends as Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones influences grow

Messenger Newspapers: Is Breaking Bad the best boxset ever released or is there a better one?

3:21pm Friday 15th August 2014

See how royalty, fantasy and drug kingpins influenced parents last year in our top 10 facts from the latest baby name figures.

VIDEO: The semi-naked Catford man strikes again!

Messenger Newspapers:

11:31am Friday 15th August 2014

The semi-naked Catford man was spotted taking a casual stroll through the high street last week.

Forest Hill man died after vibrator became stuck in his bottom

Messenger Newspapers:

1:58pm Tuesday 12th August 2014

A 50-year-old Forest Hill man died after a vibrator became stuck in his bottom and he was too embarrassed to see a doctor, an inquest heard today (August 12). 

Robin Hood of the trains strikes again: Second £1 found on Orpington service

Messenger Newspapers:

12:36pm Friday 8th August 2014

Another mystery £1 coin has been found on a train to Orpington.

QUIZ: Do you have listening skills needed to work for MI5? Take the test

Messenger Newspapers:

12:17pm Friday 8th August 2014

Do you have the skills to possibly work on the frontline for the security service MI5? Take the listening challenge to find out.

Who is the Lewisham Natureman?

Messenger Newspapers:

5:13pm Thursday 7th August 2014

Following the third sighting of another white stag painted onto a wall approaching Catford Bridge Station, the question on everyone’s lips is ‘who is the Lewisham Natureman’?

Money and message left on Beckenham train puts 'smile on my face'

Messenger Newspapers:

4:57pm Thursday 7th August 2014

Travelling on south-east London trains can often be a pain, but one traveller on a service to Orpington found a reason to be cheerful.

Forest Hill 'Jesus' spotted bearing cross in Petts Wood

Messenger Newspapers:

4:23pm Wednesday 6th August 2014

A Jesus figure spotted travelling though Petts Wood bearing a large cross says he plans to walk across all of Greater London spreading the word of God.

Greenwich Council causes confusion with 'No dumpimg' sign spelling error

Messenger Newspapers: Greenwich Bans Dumpimg?

10:51am Friday 1st August 2014

Have you spotted any amusing signs or notices such as this gem from Greenwich Council?

Fist-bumps are better than handshakes and high-fives, say scientists

Messenger Newspapers:

12:26pm Tuesday 29th July 2014

Fist-bumps are officially better than handshakes and high-fives as a way of greeting or congratulating someone, scientists have announced.

Greenwich mudlark discovers three-year-old message in a bottle from Gravesend kids

Messenger Newspapers:

2:14pm Monday 28th July 2014

Three years after a message in a bottle was thrown off Gravesend Pier an intrepid beach forager has tracked down the authors through Twitter.

VIDEO: Keston boxing champion David Haye presents the weather - for dogs

Messenger Newspapers:

1:33pm Friday 25th July 2014

When you have been champion of the world like Keston’s David Haye, what’s next? Presenting the world’s first weather forecast for dogs, of course.

Mysterious 'Met Police spy plane' seen circling Lewisham, Eltham and Blackheath

Messenger Newspapers:

4:03pm Wednesday 23rd July 2014

A mysterious plane - allegedly operated by the Met Police for surveillance purposes - has been spied circling Lewisham and Blackheath.

Fire brigade called to 100 Bromley children stuck in cars - and child with head in potty

Messenger Newspapers: Firefighters called after Layton, two, gets head stuck in his toilet seat

12:46pm Wednesday 23rd July 2014

Since 2001 around 100 children in Bromley have had to be rescued from vehicles after being trapped inside, figures show.

Man spotted painting Dartford station post box pink

Messenger Newspapers:

9:46am Wednesday 23rd July 2014

Rail users were greeted with a strange sight outside Dartford station this morning – a post box being painted pink.

PICTURED: Catford driver keeps thieves away by chaining car to lamp post

Messenger Newspapers:

3:13pm Monday 21st July 2014

This security-conscious Catford driver has gone the extra mile to stop car thieves - by chaining theirs to a lamp post.

Orpington's Spider-Man says he dons suit for his three-year-old son

Messenger Newspapers:

12:32pm Monday 21st July 2014

An Orpington cult hero spotted walking the streets dressed as Spider-Man has spoken about his reasons for doing so - and it doesn't involve getting bitten by a radioactive spider.

Spider-Man and son spotted in St Mary Cray

Messenger Newspapers:

4:17pm Thursday 17th July 2014

Spider-Man and his son have brought smiles to the faces of hundreds after being photographed in St Mary Cray.

Bus-ted: Double-decker gets stuck on kerb during U-turn

Messenger Newspapers:

2:12pm Thursday 17th July 2014

Bus passengers travelling through Wimbledon this morning had an unusual excuse for being late for work after their bus got stuck on a kerb as the driver attempted to make a U-turn.

Do these dogs look like their owners?

Messenger Newspapers:

4:00am Wednesday 16th July 2014

Pet pooches got the chance to show off their best assets at the Malden Fortnight dog show at the weekend.

Squirrel starts blaze at electrical substation

Messenger Newspapers:

10:34am Monday 14th July 2014

A squirrel set fire to an electrical substation yesterday.

Crystal knob sets Clapham bedroom on fire

Messenger Newspapers:

11:00am Wednesday 9th July 2014

A beaming crystal knob sent a bedroom up in flames after the sun refracted through it.

Stray puppy who likes eating women's knickers finds home in Sidcup

Messenger Newspapers:

5:49pm Monday 7th July 2014

A Sidcup family has given a loving home to a stray puppy – despite the fact he likes eating women’s knickers.

50+ Jedi Knights living in quiet community in Beckenham

Messenger Newspapers:

1:25pm Monday 7th July 2014

An area of Beckenham is said to be harbouring over 50 Jedi Knights. 

8 pictures from cheeky Twitter user show how to have an AMAZING summer's day

Messenger Newspapers:

10:54am Friday 4th July 2014

Our appeal for hot-weather pictures yesterday prompted one inspirational individual to tell the full story of how to have a truly epic day.

Buzz Lightyear rescues Woody from certain death on the Dartford Crossing

Messenger Newspapers:

3:24pm Wednesday 2nd July 2014

Buzz Lightyear has been spotted rescuing Woody from being crushed to death on the Dartford Crossing.

Watch: Didcot man videoed jumping off six-storey hotel into pool

Messenger Newspapers:

5:50pm Tuesday 1st July 2014

A DAREDEVIL leap from the top of a six-storey hotel by a man from Didcot is being shared across Facebook.

6 stunning cosmic images for Greenwich Royal Observatory astronomy competition

Messenger Newspapers:

5:05pm Tuesday 1st July 2014

A shortlist of spectacular images – some quite literally out of this world – has been revealed for Greenwich’s Astronomy Photographer of the Year competition.

PICTURED: Is this a mini-tornado above Orpington?

Messenger Newspapers:

10:34am Tuesday 1st July 2014

A man claims to have photographed a twister above Orpington.

Shortlands gets 'yarn bombed'

Messenger Newspapers: Bus stop knitover

10:35am Monday 30th June 2014

Shortlands has become the latest town to be ‘yarn bombed’ by group of anarchist knitters.

PICTURED: Female footballer has kickabout on M25 after lorry crash

Messenger Newspapers: Picture: @jadesmith1995

3:59pm Tuesday 24th June 2014

A female footballer from Ebbsfleet United Ladies FC has been snapped having a kickabout on the hard-shoulder of the M25 near Swanley this morning.

'Don't drink from our train toilet bowls' Southeastern warns

Messenger Newspapers: A picture of the toilet by @TomPapworth

9:02am Tuesday 24th June 2014

Temperatures are soaring but Southeastern are telling parched punters not to drink water from their train toilet bowls this summer.

Super Bruce - miracle moggy survives 70-foot fall out of Erith tower block window

Messenger Newspapers: Bruce taking a look out the window.

3:09pm Monday 23rd June 2014

This miracle moggy is feline-fine after surviving by a whisker when he jumped out of a tower block window more than 70 feet from the ground.

Fire crews called to help nine men with rings stuck on their penises

Messenger Newspapers: The gold, diamond-studded ring

2:50pm Wednesday 18th June 2014

The London Fire Brigade said today that is has been called out to deal with nine men who had rings stuck on their penises.

Boy loses finger in rave but keeps dancing

Messenger Newspapers: Josh's hand needed to be bandaged up after his little finger got ripped off

2:00pm Wednesday 18th June 2014

Ravers played catch with a boy’s finger which got ripped off during the rave in the old sorting office in Croydon.

Psychic Roy Dog-son backs England to beat Uruguay

Messenger Newspapers: Eat my bowl: Roy Dog-son has psychic abilities

11:37am Tuesday 17th June 2014

Psychic canine Roy Dog-son has predicted a victory for England in their Thursday night game against Uruguay.

VIDEO: Young driver gatecrashes Brands Hatch race in friend's hatchback

Messenger Newspapers: A race car overtakes Cottle as he takes his passengers for a spin on track.

12:45pm Monday 16th June 2014

A young driver drove his friend's car on to Brands Hatch during a race while she begged him to stop.



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