HOW many of us refer to practically everyone we know as friends?

TV channel Lifetime recently commissioned a survey that revealed millions of Britons "can't stand" their friends because they're too high maintenance or have no shared interests.

It's hardly surprising when we reflect that many of the people we spend time with are there through circumstance or accident.

Old school friends, neighbours, work colleagues, the parents of our children's friends can form a seemingly easy backdrop against which to socialise.

The reality may be rather different.

The Lifetime survey reveals that differing opinions, lifestyles and humour mean that 45 per cent of us have "frenemies", people we socialise with but don't really like.

And, in fact, many of us struggle to get along in our own group.

How can we improve our friendships:

n Don't rely too heavily on one relationship for all your emotional and companionship needs. Maintain your identity and enjoy other friendships, hobbies and interests. It's healthy to share interests and time with several groups of people and can make you a more interesting person to be with.

n Accept that some friendships will have limitations. Some may be fair-weather friends, only able to cope with fun, laughter and good times. Others may be foul-weather friends, happy to listen, give advice and support, but disinterested in partying and frolics. Different types of people have their part to play.

n Notice how much of yourself you 'give away' in your relationships. What do you offer, what do you get in return? Do you have boundaries where you say 'enough!' about sharing time, money, personal secrets and information? Set limits so the traffic's not permanently one-way.

n Accept that situations change; a new partner, job or business opportunity may arise that requires dedicated time, effort or the chance to work away. Celebrate both yours and your friends' successes.

Keep intuitively in touch with what's right for you.

Friends may have a different perspective or even an ulterior motive about what you 'should' do.

Yes, friendships require compromise and co-operation, but refrain from sacrificing your happiness to constantly accommodate others. Ensure that your friendships are good for you.

Susan Leigh, Altrincham counsellor and hypnotherapist

lifestyletherapy.net